Letting it all out

It honestly feels like a bad dream. And as soon as I wake up I want to text you sweet good mornings and hopes that your day goes well and how i had this terrible dream of how we broke up then I'd tell you how much I love you. And that I'm so glad your in my life. But then all that vanishes: I realise it wasn't a nightmare, it was reality. then I get a pit in my throat and want to burst into tears again. It just doesn't feel over to me. It feels like a bump in our relationship that we can work over if your willing to. It was poor communication from either side. From you because you've always had troubles talking to me about things I did that bother you and you kept them inside. And that's exactly what happened and it escalated. And well I've always been one to avoid conflict. I knew something was bothering you so I was trying to work through it alone and decode you cause I was afraid if I asked you, you'd get annoyed that I thought something was wrong. I just don't know what to do. I don't know if you've already moved on and I'm simply supposed to catch up and move on also- even if I dont want to. Or if I'm supposed to fight for you. I don't want to be the clingy ex that's all strung over you, but I don't want to be the nasty ex who ignores you just because if I look at you I'll fall apart into tears and I don't want you to pity me. But honestly I don't want to be your ex. I want to be yours again... But I doubt you'd have me back.