i know it may sound ridiculous or like complete bs, but being able to tell you what was festering in my mind actually gave me closure. i don't hate you, i don't hate what happened, and i dont blame myself anymore. and although i was in agony for the last two days i do believe that im over you. why would i want someone who gave up? who couldn't handle me at my worse? who stopped loving me a while ago? i don't. i want someone who can tell me what's on his mind. who isn't afraid to tell me when i slip up. who doesn't get jealous when i talk to another guy. one who honours where he comes from and who doesn't despise his heritage. im not saying you were terrible, you're a good guy that's why i fell for you. but we aren't right for eachother anymore. and if you actually want to be my friend it'll take a while. they say it takes half the time of the period you were with someone. so for us i guess it'd be 6months to officially be over the other person (or a year if you count the moment we fell for one another). so even though it feels like im over you, im going to make a promise to myself and whoever comes along next in my life that i wont make a move until the 6months are up. so i guess that means starting July 14th 2012 will be the official day i'll be 'single & ready to mingle'. for now im going to work on myself, my relationship with God that i've put off to the side. i can now focus on my art work and my future, spend time with the new people in my life. and i can travel to far off places without you holding me back. thank you for showing me that i am capable to love and be loved, that i dont have a hard time sharing my emotions like my father did and does. thanks for the laughter, for showing me how to longboard and new food locations. and thanks for making it easier to stop loving you. i pray that you are ready for the next woman that comes into your life because you've learned from the mistakes of our relationship. because ive learned a ton from them. goodluck with school and your future.
and now it's time for a new beginning in my life.
No comments:
Post a Comment