the good, the bad & the ugly

well the order for the post is more like: the ugly, the bad, and the good

this morning i woke up headed to the kitchen and had a heated argument with my mom. i cussed. i never ever cuss ever. we yelled, then cried, she shared a some tough stuff about someone, then we semi-planned our future. although it was a very intense morning im thankful for it. cause well life is what you make it. and we're going to do our best to change the situation we're all in.

so our situation for the last few years has been very challenging and it's only made us stronger and a team. she's gotten out of nasty relationships, we've survived various car accidents (she has whiplash due to them), been in and out of jobs, forced to move out of lovely apartment only to live in a really sketchy area of town (some nights they'red be drunken people on the steps to get to our apartment) sirens went off and all that jazz,  then moved back to a nice place only to later struggle to meet rent each month for a good year, finally got our money from the first accident bought us a car and went on vacation then opened up a store only to go bankrupt, and now it's like we're back where we started. stuck. and God's been with us every step of the way. but it's like he's constantly given us opportunities to move to Costa Rica and for whatever reason we'd decline them. one time we got offered a place for free and my would have had a business and she was ready to leave but because of our education she stayed. then with the money we were blessed to recieve we could have moved to Costa Rica and pretty much been millionaires but she didn't want her family to use her for her money, so we stayed. Now Costa Rica has been on both our minds for quite some time. yes you have heard me say everynow and then im just gonna pack up and move there as a joke but part of me was serious. and we realized today Canada has nothing to offer us. we are so thankful to have lived here though, cause if all of the above occured in the US well my mom would probably be a crack addict and all three of us would be selling ourselves on the street. anyways it seems as though God is telling us Canada is not where we're supposed to be. my mom made a good point yesterday she said 'why did i stay here? i stayed here and sacfriced so that my children would have a good future and they're going to do things they can do in Costa Rica? what's the point?''. and it's true i could be an art teacher and english teacher back there and live a more comfortable life than i do here. and alex could cut hair there. i've always been a beach bum and i love the rain and well that's all costa rica is. half is the dry season and the other half is pure tropical rain and the day after the rain smells soooo goood. so yeah that's where we're at right now. pushing on God to lead us to where he wants. if it's to go to Costa Rica then i'll go. im sorry friends, i do love you loads-but if i moved well you'd have a killer vacation if you came to visit. here check out the video

so here's what my ma and i planned. work really hard and save our money so by the time alex graduates (or a bit later) we can move to Costa Rica with three months of rent payed for while we search for jobs down there. also save money to take the 'teaching english abroad' course (all three of us). and on wednesday im going to speak with my school councilor to find out how many credits i need to earn an associates of arts degree. cause all i need to teach there is a degree. and that's about it right now. so i need your prayers so we can find out if this is God's will or ours. but so far im at peace with that. i want to go home, i love Canada but i feel trapped. i need my sunshine and family. as much as they bicker i do love them. and i can make such a difference in the schools by actually teaching highschool students english. imagine a new generation with the ability to do whatever they want. that's all i want. to change a generation and it doesn't matter where. so that's where we're at.

who wouldn't want to live in a place that's called paradise?

this is my dream home, wooden panels and 2 minutes from the beach?

that is something i'd be proud to support.

i know those of you that read this are gonna be like ''what the?? nooooo?'' and your reaction will be to convince me not to. but i need your prayers now more than ever. if this happens i want to be solely gods will for us and not ours.