... I'm at a loss for words. Yes I, the lover of words, have forgotten how to use them. The redundant girl who is constantly yapping away has nothing to say. It is stupid, and stupid is a stupid word but that's what one uses when your vocabulary has vanished.
You make me feel inadequate, I'm not sure if that is good or bad. I feel like a child, but only because you make it seem as though I'm a little girl, maybe 'cause I'm a couple feet shorter than you or because I have my mother's genes and do not look my age. I feel as though the plethora of knowledge I have accumulated over my lifetime disappears the moment I speak to you. It's quite annoying really, the way I feel like a complete schmuck the moment I open my mouth. You with all your knowledge on random topics and I simply dumbfounded only speaking nonsense. I know I set myself up for all those dis's and 'burns' but that is not like me. I'm usually the one full of witty dialogue and perfect comebacks. I don't understand what's happened. I'm not a fan of it but I don't mind you. I'm trying to wrap my mind around what's going on with you, with me, with what the heck is occurring between us.
I think I may be scared, terrified even. But of what? Of how I don't feel like my intelligent self around you? Of how I could possibly like you? Of letting my guard down again? Of allowing my emotions and feelings to grow only to have you not actually be interested? Yes, I suppose I am afraid. But fear is only as strong as you allow it to be (cliche I know, but y'all can suck it). I just don't want to fall and get hurt again. I despise falling, well no that's false. I despise landing face first onto something that has the same feeling as hitting concrete. I know it's too soon to ask what's occurring or of where we stand, but it'd be nice to know. Why can't our emotions make as much sense our mind?
Why am I so timid and frightened of this?
I just don't understand what's happening with me.
This is not like me.
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