geek/gēk/
| Noun: |
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A few weeks ago, while texting someone, I asked how he could hang out with me because I am such a geek which to he replied, in an upset manner, questioning why I was so self deprecating. I was a bit taken aback, not because he seemed upset but because in that moment I felt like those girls who bring themselves down and pick at characteristics, physical parts, or 'flaws' that they dislike or wish to change. I don't ever want to be viewed as that kind of insecure girl and I didn't intend for that comment to seem like I was bashing myself.
In all honesty I can say I love myself, every bit of me: from my strong and prominent nose to my long unbrushed and tangled hair. I love being 'short' and petite, yea I may not have "womanly" curves but I feel delicate and beautiful. I love my small breasts cause I can get away with wearing anything and no bra, plus I have nice strong thighs like shakira says 'lucky that my breasts are small and humble so you don't confuse them with mountains, lucky I have strong legs like my mother to run to cover when I need to." I wouldn't change anything physical about myself but now if I were to declare that out loud people would see it as narcissistic rather than adoring and being thankful for what God has blessed with me. Now I know they'll be people who say "well yeah easy for you to say your a size zero" but that's when you're wrong. It's all about your own confidence and perspective that illustrates the way you view your body, self, and identity. There was a time where I hated being a size zero, to me zero meant nothing so I considered myself a size nothing.
I over ate to prove to people that I wasn't anorexic. In latin culture it is the curvy women that are considered beautiful and well I thought I looked like a child. It took me a while to appreciate all that god gave me and that my petite stature and lack of curves is lovely. Then I did get some curves and started covering them up cause I didn't want to be a hoochy latin temptress, I'm still trying to show my body in my clothing slowly. By that I don't mean wearing skimpy clothing, I mean simply wearing clothing that fits me. I've slowly stopped purchasing over-sized tops and added a couple fitted dresses to my wardrobe. I'm trying to master the balance of modesty and my sexuality in addition to my feminine side and the side of me that wants to climb up trees, play tackle football in the mud and be one of the guys.
I over ate to prove to people that I wasn't anorexic. In latin culture it is the curvy women that are considered beautiful and well I thought I looked like a child. It took me a while to appreciate all that god gave me and that my petite stature and lack of curves is lovely. Then I did get some curves and started covering them up cause I didn't want to be a hoochy latin temptress, I'm still trying to show my body in my clothing slowly. By that I don't mean wearing skimpy clothing, I mean simply wearing clothing that fits me. I've slowly stopped purchasing over-sized tops and added a couple fitted dresses to my wardrobe. I'm trying to master the balance of modesty and my sexuality in addition to my feminine side and the side of me that wants to climb up trees, play tackle football in the mud and be one of the guys.
Well that certainly went off and a different story altogether so I'll bring us back to that text and the definition of 'Geek'. I don't believe the term Geek to be a negative, I believe the media and society has placed that connotation on the word. Please, do tell me what is wrong with someone having a strong interest in something and not being afraid to showcase it? If anything I think it's spectacular and I believe no one should be ashamed of something they adore so much. Everyone, deep down inside, is a geek. No matter how much you may try to conceal it there some secret about you that makes you 'geeky'. I think the world would be an even more beautiful place if people weren't ashamed to share what they loved: be it poetry, video games, comics, math, science, fashion, art, mozart, etc etc. Why be ashamed of something that brings you such joy and comfort? Here are some geeky things I like: I enjoy reading comics and knew about the film The Avengers the moment they created Iron Man2, I love old literature books and Shakespeare and will have a collection of old worn out naked books siting on the shelf of my future home, I love reading fairytales but only the originals by Hans Christian Anderson and The brothers grim and I own various large books all about these fairytales (and I have purchased them all in my 20's), I actually have several old books from childhood about fairy's, and mermaids and such because I still love those tales and the illustrations. When I read I have a dictionary, thesaurus, and notebook next time so I can look up the definition of a new, unfamiliar, or beautiful sounding word and I write it's definition down. I AM A GEEK. I know it and I own it. You should embrace your inner geek also, there's nothing more freeing than letting the world see you for who you are and what you love. Do what makes you may happy and 'off with their heads' to those who think otherwise (but not really, I don't want you go all sweenytodd-queenofhearts-turandot-headlesshorseman on people, leave that to the stories).
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