patience

"There are two people you’ll meet in your lifetime. One will run a finger down the index of who you are and jump straight to the parts of you that peak their interest. The other will take his or her time reading through every one of your chapters and maybe fold corners of you that inspired them the most. You will meet these two people; it is a given. It is the third that you’ll never see coming. That one person who not only finishes your sentences, but keeps the book."

 

Well I believe I've met the first two already, where is the final one? hah for some reason john mayer's song that goes "I'm tired of being alone, so hurry up and get here." and michael bubble's 'Just haven't met you yet' are stuck in my head. I suppose they sum up how I feel at this moment.

 

I think the reason why this random out of nowhere thing didn't work out with the fellow is because it was forced. We liked certain aspects of one another and were trying to make something happen based on those things, on my behalf it could very well have been because I like the idea of dating and missed being in a relationship or simply was tired of being alone as Mr. Mayer sings so wonderfully. Juvenile move but at least I'm aware of it. I know I sound rather confusing with the whole "I'm happy being single" then going "I want a relationship", it's rather difficult to put into clear words but I am content taking time to focus on me, on my future, and on God it would just be lovely to have someone to share that journey with. I know in my heart that when the time is right it will happen and there's no need to diddledaddle in crushland and force something when it's not God's will. I'm glad we ended anything before emotions and feelings got mixed and one of us ended up getting hurt.  Also elated I did some hardcore prayer about it like I've been doing lately. What I mean by that is, after being dumped by someone and being with them for almost 2 years I decided to put God before any relationship and to pray and ask if it was from him. Sometimes it was hard to differentiate God's voice from doubts or over thinking so I'd just pray more. Both times He hasn't failed to answering me firmly saying "No. Be patient. He isn't the one." and each time I get that no I feel like I get that much closer to whoever the one is. I'm working on the whole being patient part, clearly it needs a little more working on. Hey I'm only human and getting swept away into something that could be lovely isn't all that easy to reject. I just don't like waiting, in fact I despise it. The only thing I like waiting for is watching the sunset slowly and the stars to come out.

 

I can't wait for that person to share my life with, spend the rest of my days with, travel to far of places together, wake up next to everymorning, drink tea with, read books with, hike with, act like a complete child with and raise world changers with. I can't wait but at the same time I can, but God please spead it up just a tad.