recap

alrightie seeing as how i haven't written in a while-aside from my vent about my own stupidity and forgetfulness (im all good now i love the update just really miss my music)- i decided i'd start now.

hmmm writer's block is tragic...

ohkay how 'bout we start with how my year's been thus far  (starting from january). it truly has been a year of no fear already and it's only been two months. i've always been afraid of getting close to someone and giving them everything in fear that they'd break my heart and well i'm not gonna sugar coat it, it did happen. i survived, i was afraid i wouldn't but i did and i can say i'm doing great now some days i get sad but i mean that occurred before probably cause sometimes i just feel a bit solemn for no reason. i was afraid to paint on a giant canvas and now im tackling a 4 by 8 foot sheet of plywood and it feels awesome! i can't wait to finish it. i was afraid to reset my phone in fear that i'd loose everything and well i lost everything but it's updated and awesome- still bumped about loosing all those photos and music but i'll survive hah. i was afraid of going to the doctor's in fear that i'd have some illness...and well i went and i'm a-okay. just need a blood test cause i may be anemic. im afraid of spiders and hah here's a funny story:

        sooooo the other day i went to the washroom getting some business done and as i was about to lean up to stand i looked up first and adjacent to me dangling in the middle of my super small washroom was a spider... yeaaaaaaup if i were to get up without watching that terrible critter would've touched my face or gotten lost in my hair. oh lord im getting shivers right now. sooo i quickly wiped my rear and stood thinking how do i kill this thing (second unreasonable fear i can't do the whole kill a bug when it's above my face in fear that it'll land in it or something...). so since i couldn't go out through the bathroom door since it was right in the middle of the washroom! i opened my bedroom door, did the whole shimmy off to the side booked it the kitchen grabbed a giant piece of paper towels in one hand and placed an oven mitt on the other (yenno just in case it jumped onto my other hand...) and ran back through my room and into the washroom where the demon bug was still making its way down from my ceiling. i took a deep a breath and without hesitation trapped in the paper towels and chucked in the toilet and flushed it down with junk and thought "that's right you little shit i just flushed you down with my own shit!". yeaaaah that really happened...bahahah oh gosh im so a weirdo no wonder im single. anyways that was a huge accomplishment. still afraid of spiders but i mean i can kill them just wont ever ever touch one.

yeah and there's more things if faced these past two months but i've forgotten... so i'll write about something else.