these past few days i've been overcome with a sort of sadness. i wake up late, almost noon, and spend the day doing nothing. the house is a mess and i want to clean it but i can't seem to motivate myself to do so. i haven't worked since last friday- which was a 3 hour shift... and i've allowed projects to pile up resulting on me working on them right now. i have a headache and feel so lethargic, it's not cool. i despise it. i want to shake it off but feel as though i can't.
i kinda feel trapped. like im getting backed into a corner and the walls around me are getting closer and closer together. i honestly don't know whats the matter with me... maybe cause i've stressing too much about the current situation and how it feels like nothings changed. i'm pretty broke, and feel as though im unemployed since im not getting any shifts, my credit card bill is close to 1000 and i only have slightly over $100 in my account. i just want to rip out of my skin and start completely over. i thought i did that in january but i just feel stuck. i just want to be in the future where im working the job i love not worrying where money for rent or groceries will come from and have a spouse there to comfort me on days that i just feel so low and pathetic. cause right now im not doing what i know i want to be doing. it's just really frustrating...
i'm so ready to move to alberta and work full time and save, but i'm in school so i have to wait another month and a half. i just want my bills paid for. i don't want to ruin my credit...
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