do not disturb

true that. i dont know how many times people have tried setting me up with people since i've stated that im single. no i don't want to be seeing anyone and that's due to various reasons. yes im sure they are pleasant people and i'll get to them once my heart is truly & completely healed. even though it feels as though im over him i don't want to risk rushing into anything and in the end having to break up with someone just because i was being selfish or foolish. i've place a "do not disturb" sign on my heart not because i want to keep people out or become a bitter ice queen: to be emotionless & numb. no. im doing it so i don't make a mistake or a complete ass of myself. im doing it to fully repair my heart and work on my relationship with God first and foremost. to find out who i truly am. find the real desires of my heart. have my heart so filled with God's love that the next guy that comes around will have to seek God first before seeking me. i know i'll love again but i choose not to risk anything now. so please don't tempt me with guys i may be interested cause at this moment im not looking at anyone in that way. if i wanted to i couldn't just because when i make a promise to myself i sure as heck keep it. and i promised myself  i would stay clear of dating and all that jazz until june 14th. one month of healing & rebuilding myself down, 5 more to go. i feel as though i've come along way in this last month, i can honestly say i've changed for the better and im so beyond eager to see where the next five will take me. God seriously works miraculous wonders in your life once you give it all to him.