The troubles, and worries I had yesterday and the weeks prior were of the past. Crazy how quick he works in others to speak to you and answer your prayers. It honestly boggles my mind, I won`t even attempt to understand it. Some things are just meant to be unknown and simply appreciated.
I had been consumed with worries about my current state. To stay or to return home? If I left now would I still have a job for the same company or would I have to take on the dreaded task of printing out resumes and applying for jobs again? If I left would they be angry? Would I feel like a let down? Yada Yada little miss doubtful filled with seemingly reasonable nonsense and a cloudy mind.
I hadn`t mentioned those concerns to anyone here. I had just shared a few of those with my close friends last night and I can assure you none of them have contact with anyone in my company.
Today I went to work wondering if I should tell my Regional Manager how I was feeling; that I may be thinking about leaving sooner than I planned. I didn't know when or how to bring it up because I myself don't quite know when it is I will be leaving.
And out of no where my father appears at my desk telling me I am to meet in our managers office. I didn't move and continued on with my work thinking he was joking. Looked up & he was still there. My valley girl came out as a I repeated him "He wants me in his office? This is a joke right?'' Took a view airheaded questions for me to realize he was serious. So I passed the phones off to a coworker and entered my RM`s office utterly confused to see my father sitting there also.
My immediate thought, ''Is this a family meeting? Are we not working professionally together because I'm always sassing my father back?'' As those questions pass through my mind my RM answers my unasked questions by stating ''You are not in trouble. This is a good thing but it's troubling me''
He goes on to mention how I'm doing amazing and knows I won't be staying. That I'll be going home soon. ''If you tell me you want to leave next Monday I would make sure that can happen, I'll ensure you have a job in the Vancouver office. If you say you want to leave June30th I could make that happen too'' Weird God moment numbero uno. I planned to leave around June 30th, mums the word to everyone but God- cause yenno he knows what you're thinking before you realize what you're thinking...
He then repeats he doesn't want me to go but knows I'll be leaving soon because I told him I was homesick last week. He told me he wants me to be happy, ''if that means staying here then perfect. If it means going home that's fine.'' Every single word that came out of his mouth was what hid in my mind. It was answers to questions I had only asked myself. Reassurance to concerns and fears I had held the week before. It was without doubt God speaking through him to me. Letting me know that everything, yet again, would be completely fine. That no, I wouldn't have to worry about finding a job and making a steady income. That I would make ''the same amount or even more in Vancouver''. That he wants to make sure I have a back up plan to fall on while pursuing my dreams. I wanted to cry again, but this time because I was overjoyed and filled with that good ol' God peace again. I was also just so thrown off that he spoke to me like he could hear what I was thinking. Such a strange and otherworldly experience. I felt present but also as if I were in a lucid dream. ''Is this actually happening?''
Thinking about that meeting again just puts me in such awe. God is so crazy good at what he does. I just love it. He's so creative, and knows what voice you'll listen to.
He's got everything worked out for me. I just need to pick a time to return. It's in his hands but it's also my decision. I can hear him saying softly ''Whenever you're ready''.
The moment I get my passport and train someone to take my place I'll be heading home.
God is just so good. So so Good.
I lack eloquence when it comes to describing him. He's just so legit, he gets me.
No comments:
Post a Comment