mood board and various thoughts I can't put into words: http://gabdez.tumblr.com/

Saturday, March 17

stuck

turning 21 in a couple of weeks...oh lord i don't know what to do for my party. i honestly don't know if i want one, i feel like what is there to celebrate? i feel like i've accomplished nothing over this last year. still in the same boat as i was the year before: unable to drive, in debt, lazy, stuck. 

i don't know what i'm doing with my life anymore. im just so darn confused. i feel this urge to just get up and go. escape. i just want to hit refresh and start over. no more bills piling up, find a job that gives me hours and makes me happy, find love and keep it. i'm just so ready for this chapter of unfortunate circumstances to be over. i know this isn't what god has planned for me, but it would be divine to know what he does have planned for me that i was can just focus on it. i'm tired of this. i really don't know what to do anymore. do i continue studying or take off in a foreign country and teach english? do i stay in church volunteering or go somewhere to focus on just me and god?

god i need some answers please? you know what the future holds for me...can you please give me a preview or something?

where am i supposed to go? i'll figure out how to get there but i don't even know the destination. 

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