i know i'll be judged by others if they ever were to find out, that's why i've chosen those special few to share the events of last weekend with, but believe me when i say that it was in no means planned. it all just happened, it just seems and feels so natural. it was the most wonderful weekend.
in all seriousness, i do know that this is occurring fairly quick after the break up. it would make one question if something were occurring while i was in the past relationship- but it wasn't. i did love him but i was also hurting near the last month of our time together (which makes it feel like we weren't together for 3 months rather than 2). what im trying to say is i honestly wasn't planning on seeing anyone after we broke up until june/july 15th. for various reasons aside from it being the proper time to heal and work on myself. it was also a form of respect to him and his family because i honestly do care for them all and i can see how one would jump to assumptions of this new guy being a rebound or a form of love affair in a way. but there was none of that nonsense.
it just all started happening with the last three weeks? started texting a bit, then daily, then had our long phone calls and then he came to BC to visit his family- although he spent most of his time with me. the first night he arrived he came by to see if his sisters snow boarding gear fit me only to open the bag and find out he didn't pack it. then he decided to take me to mission to drop by his grandparents place. i didn't find out till after that i was the first girl he's taken to visit his family. i got a bit giddy and felt so content but had no clue why. then he tried various times that night to take me to viewpoints in mission except it failed because each time there was a guard telling us the location/grounds were closed. we didn't want to call it a night so we drove to stanley park, sat in the back of the truck with blankets and a pillow and gazed at the city lights. it was so calm and quiet and we looked to see when the lights would go off or if they'red ever be a time of the night/morning when the lights would all be off. there wasn't, but we did spot a few times where a whole floor would just go black. we'd sit there silently and at times have a short conversation about random things, then he confused to liking me and all i could do was smile. we then spoke of how nothing could happen between for the next four months because i made a promise to myself and he was happy that i was being so honest. it's just so nice to know someone who's so open and intune to his thoughts and emotions and isn't afraid to share his thoughts- although later he stated that he was terrified to tell me but he simply can't not tell me. later that weekend while on another adventure he told me the reason he said he liked me so quick was because he didn't want me to be taken from him again. hah it's so silly, i feel like such a child whenever i think of him and i can't help it. my mom knew something had happend when i saw her on thursday night. she only asked how snowboarding was and i said good. then she asked "so was there a connection between you two?...as friends?" i smiled and was about to nodd then she smirked and asked "or as more?!" and i just smiled and she got all giddy and said "GOOD! i like him. ohhhh i can't wait to have little costa rican grandkids". and that's what makes it so dang difficult to make this go as slow as possible. the fact that various people are rooting for this (his family already adores me and my mom has always adored him). i don't mind. i'm so grateful, i just wish we didn't iniate it till four months from now because we already have that attraction and know where we stand with our feelings. i want to start off as friends but we already held hands and cuddled, heck you even gave me a foot massage after i worked 8 hours. that weekend everything just happend. i tried to hold back but he makes it so difficult, it doesn't help that their things i find cute. and now he's apparently coming down for birthday. i want to tell him all that we did last weekend can't happen till june. he'd be ok with it, cause he says he'll do what i want because he doesn't want to make me uncomfortable or go against my word.
but i just, uggggh yeah. how this all even happened makes no sense to me. i don't mind it. i just don't want to be the bitch who starts dating someone after a break up, even if i got dumped. that's just not how i roll. and i respect you so i'm doing my best.
i just can't stop thinking about him it's ridiculous.
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