wahoooo. it's been a busy last few weeks and i'm just looking forward to freedom.
not that I feel imprisoned. just getting tired i suppose. I love my courses, with the exception of the introductory English course- waste of time and i am doing poorly. Which is odd because I've excelled in English throughout high school and i adored it. but writing about 6-7 essays in an essay where you can not state your own opinion is difficult without paraphrasing the entire piece. but it's almost done, thank goodness.
in the next three weeks i have due:
- 4 paintings (landscape, self portrait of my my profile with extreme lighting, a combo of photographs of a person & landscape/interior and the final one based on the feelings we get from a word the prof will send us via e-mail)
- to find three paintings/artwork and write a poem based on the emotion of the painting and the connection we have with it from the present day
- an essay about...something I honestly don't care.
sooooo my social life will be put on hold once more. actually it's been on hold for several months now.
I feel so disconnected from my friends and even family. i rarely see them. when I do (and im not falling asleep due to fatigue) i feel as though i have nothing to say. i feel as though i've disappeared to some far of place and returned not the same- like an alien, entirely out of place. most times i just feel as though im not there and i haven't been for a while. it's awkward and i despise it. i feel like i moved somewhere or left them when in reality i've been here the whole time simply being consumed with work and school. it sucks. i miss you guys.
summer hurry up i want to have bonding time with friends, i hate scheduling them into my calendar for an hour or so. i may be turing 20 soon, close to adulthood but i don't want to be one of those carrier driven individuals with no time for those they care for.
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